IF U CAN BOUNCE HIGH, BOUNCE 4 HER 2

The newest numbers on the page, three pages before the airbrush seduces Dushku, say that 66% of the women who responded want the penetration part of sex to be from 6 to 11 minutes or from 11 to 15 minutes. Somebody buy a stop-watch because THIS romantic heart is on FIRE. So 34% of the willing females out there are either bored but willing or well and truly bored. So this means that the usual rules apply. Endurance is overrated and speed is for rabbits and addicts. And no one's gonna drag you up into the light where you belong. The performance is the thing. We are all players, as Shakespeare once wrote, but what are wanted, it seems, are performers, someone who can turn blank wurst into potent force. Is enough enough?


The Mountain Goats + "The Sign" Not because this is one of my favourite pop songs of all time, but because this is a great performance by John Darnielle. Not because this is a great performance of this song, or even a good one, but because Darnielle is himself such a good performer, so entertaining, building laughs and good times out of the most trivial unhappenings, that I have been listening to this recording for about two weeks straight—

And on the way from Columbus into Chicago
We heard "The Sign" on the radio.
Somebody got ready to turn the station and I said,
What is wrong with you?
Does God hate you or something?
Has he not taught you how to love?

It was hot as blazes as we drove through the south side,
Pullin up at lights,
All the people laughin at the white kids doin their little dance in the car.
It was really rad.
I opened the set with it that night.

[photo source]

SHE SPENT $689.00

on items which included a small stencil spelling out LIFE IS TOO SHORT NOT TO DRINK WINE and a nubbly paint roller which, when properly used, creates the effect of old and badly painted walls.

Her hair was about as convincingly blonde as a redheaded pickle. Her honeys were too large to squeeze except together. She was about sixty years old. She was walking a small child who was walking an angry white ferret

The ferret squealed and the child said, "Shut up, kitty."

"Isn't that a ferret?" I asked.

The child said, "KITTY IS ITS NAME."

And the three of them trotted out the door.